Business & The Feminine…Pt 1
Written by some guy…oh fuck 🙄🤔😳
Intro
If you’re a woman, and you’re in business, or working for yourself or aspiring to do so — I dedicate this to you…
You’re amazing…but some of you got it all wrong 😕
Business is an adventure. It’s exciting, but it takes guts to do it. It’s not easy.
It can be get lonely at times, sometimes it can seem unfair and on top of that societal conditioning tells you to be something you’re not, just so that you can “succeed” in business (or in the corporate world for that matter). You’re either told ‘you have a handicap because you’re a woman’, or you’re told that ‘you’re no different than a man’, which in itself is a handicap!
I want to dispel some of the bullshit we’re all fed around this subject.
Disclaimer: I am a guy. I know I’m stepping into contentious territory here, and I could potentially open up a pandora’s fucking box of insults, death threats & feminist activists wanting to kill me, but — screw it — if we can’t talk to each other openly & honestly, then we’re really in the shit…
So here goes….
Inspired By
I began writing this blog a little while ago. I was inspired by two conversations I had, with two amazing women — both of whom run their own businesses, but each with a very different approach to business, and life (hold this thought)…
I’m finishing it up now because I got inspired the other day.
I’ve been on a random-ass US/Euro trip these past few weeks, and in between the meetings, the great people I met, some things working out, others not going to plan, flights almost missed and all the crazy adventures that travel brings with it — one of the highlights of the trip was actually watching the movie “Joy” starring Jennifer Lawrence!?!
Yep — I watched it on a flight (of all things) on the way back from Athens. I had NO IDEA what the premise of the movie was, but I didn’t have my laptop & the airline had a screen on an economy seat, so I watched…
I remember thinking: “Wow, this is amazing — it’s like ‘The Pursuit of Happiness’, but without Will Smith!”.
And then… “How the fuck didn’t I know about this earlier”?
And then “hmm…I think I’ll finish that blog”…So here I am.
Preface
I’ve been in business for 10yrs now. I’ve never had a job, aside from Domino’s Pizza Delivery when I has 16 — where I crashed the car twice trying to be the “fastest delivery guy” — and thus got fired after 2wks.
Ever since, I haven’t known what it’s like to receive a pay check or a pay slip. I’ve figured it out, (the very hard way) on multiple occasions, in different industries. I’ve seen great successes along the way, and on a few occasions, watched it all crumble down on top of me, leaving me with nothing but battle scars & experience to show for it.
When it comes to business — I can generally say “I’ve been there done that”.
When it comes to being a woman — well — I can’t really say the same. Although as humans we all have access to our masculine & feminine, the last time I checked, I’m not exactly a part of the female species 😜 — so for this part, I’m going to lean on both my observations in life and the conversations I’ve had with women in business (in particular, the two I alluded to earlier).
Business & the rise of the Entrepreneur
To some it’s a crusade, to others it’s a science, and to others still; it’s an art.
It’s changed the fabric of society and brought with it huge new opportunities that would never have been dreamt of in the past. In fact, some of the things we can do now, we would’ve been burnt at the stake for even thinking of in the past.
But whatever definition you give it, business at it’s core, is the creation of something from nothing.
And although it’s not viewed that way by many, I think the process of creation makes business an adventure & in many ways, a spiritual journey.
Now…whilst business can be an adventure. It’s also got it’s ‘drawbacks’. There are no guarantees. There is no stable “paycheck”. There is not always light at the end of the tunnel.
The odds are mostly against your ass, and to be honest, it’s really only for the 1% — 5% of us who are crazy & brave enough to go after what we want & risk failure in the process. Those of us who are entrepreneurs today, were probably explorers in a past life..
Those of us who are entrepreneurs today, were probably explorers in a past life..
So if simply being in business is a big deal, what if you’re a woman in business?
In the past it’s been viewed as a handicap, now it’s being viewed as an asset (in some PC ways), but the way it’s being handled, I think, is all fucked up — and that’s what this blog is about.
(finally right?? This guy’s been blabbering on for how long now??? Bear with me; there’s one more important point before I get onto that).
The Masculine & Feminine
**Note** — I’ll use the terms masculine & men, as well as female & feminine interchangeably. You can be a man with a feminine core, or a woman with a masculine core; and that’s fine — but for the purposes of this blog, it’s just easier to type “man” ok!!
So anyway..Masculine & Feminine.
They’re not “things” or “sexes” as much as they’re energies. We all have both within us, and like all things “energetic” they have a polarity.
Polarity doesn’t mean they’re opposite & opposing — it means opposite & complementary. Masculine & Feminine attract. They’re like North & South poles on a magnet, or the +ve & -ve poles a-la electricity.
I’m not going to go into what they are, or why we have those energies — there’s more qualified people out there who can help you explore that further (I’ll put a list below) — but suffice it to say it’s one of the core driving energies we have as humans.
Polarity is opposite & complementary
Carl Jung spoke a lot about Syzygy (meaning the interplay of two opposite energies). He said we’re all made up of both masculine & feminine energy — and those who not only embrace both, but are able to know their core (their essence) and tap into their different levels of each energy at will, live the most fulfilling life, and accomplish the greatest feats in life.
Jung was brilliant — and I’m going to agree with him on this one 🤓
So how does this apply to business?
Simple really. This interplay of energies, within us & in relation to others, permeates everything we do, say & feel.
If you’re in your feminine, your going to behave & make decisions in a very different way than if you’re in your masculine — and depending where you are on the spectrum (i.e.; are you being 30% feminine and 70% masculine) — the effect changes again. You see where I’m going right?
This interplay of energies, within us & in relation to others, permeates everything we do, say & feel.
And this is where things get “lost in translation”.
Because business has been so male dominated from the beginning, there’s this idea that it’s an inherently masculine thing — and to succeed in business, you have to either be a guy — or act like a fucking guy.
Hey — a lot of us won’t admit it, but if you subscribe to the idea that business must always be cold & calculated, rules & structure oriented, ‘me VS them’, or you can’t be nice; then you technically subscribe to the idea that it’s primarily masculine.
Even I believed that shit for a long time (and I like to think I’m pretty open minded)..I didn’t think it was possible to build or create business from a feminine place. But hey — I was just a dumb guy in his own world — battling his own demons.
What changed my outlook was meeting amazing, brave, beautiful women who were willing to BUCK the bullshit trend that you need to be a guy or act like a guy to succeed in business.
So What’s The Problem?
Whilst business has changed the landscape & social structure of the world, and our understanding of psychology, men, women, sexual energy, human rights, etc has evolved in a huge way — we’re obviously not there yet.
The problem isn’t only the fact that business is dominated by men, but it’s also dominated by women who are trying to be fucking men!
And that only makes things more confusing.
Yes — it may have been a necessary part of society’s evolution, and helped us wake up to the basic & fundamental rights we should all have — but this whole Men & Women are the same or equal is outdated now. And it was just a stepping stone to so much more.
The problem is not only the fact that business is dominated by men, but it’s also dominated by women who are trying to be fucking men!
Men & Women are not “equal”!!
In fact — NOBODY is equal. That’s a load of shit. We’re all unique humans, with our own unique gifts, experiences, memories and lives.
We all have something different to contribute to the world.
If guys had it our way in this world, and there was no business / conquest — we would simply Eat, Shit, Fuck, Sleep, Repeat (and if there was no women, we’d probably fuck ourselves).
As a woman, you have the power to nurture, to be free, to be creative and to think outside the box that us dumb ass men are confined within.
You can imagine things and communicate them on an entirely new level.
You have an intuition that we can never match — and a deep sense of care that we will never have.
Don’t give that up to be like us! We’re fucking boring.
If guys had it our way in this world, and there was no business / conquest — we would simply Eat, Shit, Fuck, Sleep, Repeat (and if there was no women, we’d probably fuck ourselves).
You bring your OWN gifts to the world and to business, and yes, while there are elements of business & contexts which require you to step into your masculine, you cannot lose touch with what makes you special.
If you have to go kick ass & take names — go do it. Step into your masculine, strap on your balls & go knock some people out. Be cold, be calculating, close the deal — but if that’s not your essence — don’t stay there! Don’t live in a house that’s not yours. It will eat you up inside & as evidenced by many women I’ve met, you’ll either find yourself attracting feminine men whom you despise deep down, or you’ll end up alone & bitter. Fuck that— it’s not worth your sanity (at least that’s my take).
Don’t give up the sheer power, freedom & gifts of the feminine, for the crumbs & constraints of the masculine.
The Solution
There is never “one solution” to anything, but there are principles.
Instead of working against each other, and trying to be what we’re not — we need to work together, be who we are, call upon our essence & in the process deliver the best of what we can.
The one idea that makes the most sense to me is that we work together, from our natural core.
I’m going to point to the movie. In Joy, it was her ex-husband that had her back. There was a line that stuck out to me: “They were the best divorced couple in the country”. I thought that was amazing, because it just showed that the bond between men & women can go far beyond the concept of marriage — even for people who were once married..
That collaboration, that trust, that polarity is powerful.
Instead of working against each other, and trying to be what we’re not — we need to work together, be who we are, call upon our essence & in the process deliver the best of what we can.
And it’s ALREADY happening.
In the midst of all this political correctness bullshit, and women thinking they have to be men, men then ending up more like women and all sorts of confusion occurring as a result, there’s been this uprising of the true female entrepreneurs, who are building businesses their way.
And — they’re succeeding! Not only in their businesses, but more importantly in their personal, intimate, family & physical lives!
I know many of them personally, and each of them are an inspiration to all those around them (both men & women).
The Bigger Picture
This is the part where I usually get ahead of myself, but I’m going to save it for Part 2 of this long ass article…Along with a few Caveats to all of the above which I think are very important (especially the idea of ‘context’).
Closing the Loop
Remember the conversations with two women I mentioned at the beginning?? Well…I was going to close the loop here — but in the spirit of being a smart ass, and shortening Pt 1, I’ll save that for Pt 2 also 😜
In Closing
This turned into a waayyyyyyy longer post than I expected..🙄😳😅
It’s time I shut the f$#% up…so I’ll close with this:
I’m not going to sit here & pretend I know what it’s like in your shoes. Although I have been in business for 10yrs, like I said; I lack the appropriate genitalia to count myself part your species.
I know things can be tough, and sometimes you might feel like you’re the “inferior species” (I’ve heard that more than a few times from you ladies — total shit btw) and in order to compete you need to be more like us — but I hope this little blog will remind you that that’s a load of 💩.
I have the utmost respect & admiration for every one of you. As I said earlier, there are no guarantees in business — you have no safety net, and sometimes it can be super lonely. It’s a hard enough road as it is, and on top of it, you have to deal with the stupid societal constructs that try and tell you that (a) you’re not good enough as a woman, and (b) in order to succeed in a man’s world, you need to be like or better than a man.
- What a load of horseshit.
- Be a woman.
- Be You
- Do what inspires you to live a fuller life, and;
- The rest of society & their rules can go get fucked 🖕🏽🙂
A little to-do list:
a) Keep bucking the trend.
b) Stay true to who you are.
c) Build on your essence, not on the shit society says you should be.
d) Remember there are other women out there succeeding in their essence & doing amazing things. Go connect with them.
e) Go watch Joy!!! (You should do this tonight)
f) If you found value in reading this, please pass it around to anyone else you think should read it 🙂
Resources
If you’re reading this and thinking, “shit, I don’t know any women who are like that”, just get in touch and I’ll do what I can to help intro you 🙂
As promised, Masculine / Feminine Energy Guru’s:
- Susana Frioni (http://susanafrioni.com)
- Michaela Boehme (http://www.michaelaboehm.com)
- Tony Robbins nails this also (if you can get to his event, Date with Destiny; Get your ass over there!)
- David Deida (more on the masculine, but very useful for contrast)
